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A Site Dedicated to Women

The Esther Effect

Keeping Your Zeal

I was the eldest of three girls in my family. Even though we all grew up with the same background, we were quite different! I was easy to spot. I was the one that always jumped ahead without thinking.

If you could get my expressive nature activated just right, you would only need to point me in the right direction and I would run at full speed. (Come to think of it, nothing much has changed over the years...)

Such a thing as TOO MUCH zeal?

This was even more true as I went into ministry for the first time. I was so hyped and excited when the Lord brought me to get involved with Apostles Les and Daphne Crause. I wanted to conquer the world! I took every last principle I learned and applied them...all at the same time!

Time was short! The Lord was coming tomorrow and surely the church was headed for obvious doom if I did not do something NOW!

I went where angels feared to tread. I called everyone to mentorship that I met and with all the brazenness of my whole 22 years I was going to be the leader that turned the world upside down!

And The Walls Came Crumbling Down...

Then one day something shocking hit me. It occurred to me for the very first time that the job I was taking on was a little bit bigger than my great zeal and imagination.

The more I pushed through, the more I felt pushed down. The more I had hope in people, the more I was disappointed. I would deliver a life changing message, only to get not a single response or feedback. I would come up with the idea that would 'end all other ideas' only for others to ignore it.

Suddenly the fantasies of ministry came crashing round my feet in a very harsh reality. It finally occurred to me...MINISTRY WAS HARD WORK!

People could be so mean!

It did not matter how much you gave out, there were just always more needs. I was reminded of Jesus who sat to feed the five thousand only for them all to pitch up the next day wanting even more.

My resolve began to melt and I started to lose the love I had for ministry at the beginning. I started to think that perhaps I mistook my calling for youthful naiveté.

Well maybe I was a bit naïve back then, but through these crushing experiences I realized a new truth.

That truth was:

I did not call myself. I was called by the Lord Jesus Christ.

The Lord showed me, that this calling I walk out is not because of my own strengths and abilities. He called me by His Grace and that He was able to complete the work He started.

You see, no matter how much you succeed or fail in ministry, it is not your effort that puts the fire inside of you. It is the Holy Spirit that ignites you.

So when you feel dead and disappointed, or when you feel alone, there is always hope. No matter who has forsaken you. No matter how hard this journey may seem, you hold onto the fact that the Lord is taking care of your call.

Wait For It, Because It Will Come

So perhaps today the walls have all fallen down and the fire seems dead. It will just take one small breath from His mouth to ignite that fire in you once again. Wait for it, because it will come.

Then all that zeal and passion will return with full force and you will truly understand what His Grace is all about.

Be still and know that He really is God. This is His call and He will never let you down.

Then like me, you will suddenly understand this passage in a whole new light:

For you see your calling, brothers, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:

But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God has chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things that are mighty; (1 Corinthians 1:26 -27 AMIV)

 


Responses Posted For This Page

Response from Prophetess Moses : I fully understand, Im waiting on the Breathe of God to revive me once again because he is doing a new thing in me. I realize more than ever it is of his doing.

Thank you for sharing your experience, it is very helpful.

Response from SOPHIA AKUFFO : Dear Apostle,
you are a big encouragement and an inspiration to me because sometimes I dont understand the route by which God is leading me, but when I look at leaders like you who live what they teach gives me much hope, that I will surely get there.I see your leadership by example,the passion and creativity a touch bearer who pave the way for us to follow and it brings new life and hope in me again.Sometimes you think the zeal will never come back but truely its the grace of God that keeps you in place and works through you,and truely ministry is hard work.
I 'm so glad to find your new blog it is an answer for me its different and new and looks exciting I believe it will do much for me, God bless you

Blessings

Response from Kesean : This really spoke to me... I'm in need of fresh fire in me in order to continue this journey I'm on...

Response from student.pastor thomas : thankyou for this new blog and thank you for answering my prayers. this morning when i prayed i prayed with a new understanding that god puts the words in your mouth what you must pray.i used to stumble over my words hwen i pray but this morning it just flowed like sweet water and i knew that the lord knows what i had to say.i know this new blog will enrich my live and my spiritual live and thanx for the free e-books

Response from Pamela : It is not actually you they are fighting, as if you stand in the office of a prophet, they are really resisting the holy spirit that has been 'ingrained' into you by our Lord Jesus Christ. This is a powerful tool for prophecy and lets you see how little they understand about the master they serve. If someone recognises Jesus, they will recognise when Jesus is speaking to them, even if they don't want to hear it. The training is difficult because it crushes the very essence of who we are, so that we don't rely on our own emotions,thoughts or feelings,but rather on the upgraded spirit that has been placed within us to execute his will, as prophets.
This IS the TRAINING of the Prophet- as the upgraded spirit has been placed within the prophet from birth, the new birth (being born again), aggravates this process and enables us to speak for the true and living God (as opposed to other Gods).
Although uncomfortable,the mean people are a sure sign that we are in his will..as Jesus was not received by these same types of people, we cannot expect anything else until the initial training is complete, and we are far from the strife of tongues etc..
We can rest assured that Jesus will always comfort us, until we are comfortably obedient.

Response from Nolan : Thank you for the encouragement. That is how we feel at times, knowing that we are called for something big but don't understand God provides, gives us his Grace. Thank you

Response from wayne : Wow. God spoke to me just a few moments before I opened this blog... His timing! What a confirmation. Thanks

Wayne Sutton
www.thelastadam.com

Response from Lora Johnson-Posey : Yes Apostle, you are so right. Many, Many times I have given up and wanted to throw in the towel but a fresh wind came and that fire within would not let me give up. It seemed as though as I gave up God took over even stronger. That lets me know that I am not my own anymore, that I have no chose in the matter where quitting counts because it doesn't. there's a drive in me that just won't let me stop. Thank you Jesus for that because He is my lifeline and there is no where else to go. He's all I have. Thank you Apostle for the reminder of who I am and whose I am in the Lord.

Response from Audrey : It is when I am weak He is strong in me. The Holy Spirit is able to manifest his awesomeness in me and through me. When I hear his voice I know it is my Father's voice and I obey because my desire is to please my father. He blesses me over and over. Through my mistakes I learn from it and by reading the word of God it helps me to prevent making mistakes of allowing my own flesh get in the way of my Father's will. God words give me instructions and guidance. I wake up early a.m. and spend quality time in prayer and in the word. The results I receive is BLESSINGS AFTER BLESSINGS.

Response from Alfredo : Thank you Apostle Colette! I thank the Lord for this ministry. There are always here multiple ways by which you receive this kind of encouragement to press on for the call of God in my life knowig that is the Lord who is working in us and through us. I see the Lord's love everywhere around here reminding us that nothing is impossible for those who believe.

I received by reading this post an increase on my expectation of what the Lord is about to do. My hope just got ignited once more. I feel something great is coming.

May the Lord be glorified in all of you.
Love in Christ,
Alfredo

Response from Olufisayo : This Post is a real blessing, I am praying for God to keep speaking to me and give me a heart that will always wait on Him.

Response from Angela : Thank you for this confirmaton. I am in a holding pattern at this time, waiting for take off, and take off I will. God bless all you put your hands too. Angie

Response from Prophet Belinda Alford : God bless you Apostle Colette!!!
This post has helped me greatly. I truly thank God for you and your ministry.You are a blessing to all.

Response from Prophetess Victoria : Thanks for information like this. I also have been and time has turned around again for disapointment and rejection. I dont get called to preach in my area much,(Due to the sin in the Churches) But I do have a prophetic School were I have been mandated to teach and mentor out other prophetic people. and Jesus Christ is my strenght and I cannot and will not look for flesh to get me through what only God can and will do in my life. Thanks much for this site.

Prophetess V. Woods

Response from Marti : Apostle Collete, Thank you for assuring those you have been called to mentor (like myself)that this is a very different kind of walk and ministry. There are times when I just know there is a different kind of ministry to which I have been called and then all of a sudden the flame wants to turn into a flicker because the manifestation doesn't seem to becoming fast enough. Nevertheless, I am encouraged when I see the work God does through his Apostolic and Spiritual Fathers/Mothers such Apostle Crause and yourself. Thanks for being there for those of us who are still learning that this journey is training us to be the same type of apostolic leaders we have been led to.

Response from Veronica : Apostle Colette I want to thank you very much for standing firm in the things of God and continuing to give of yourself. This message was what I needed to hear today. I have been very tired in my body and though I want to step out I felt the physical tiredness holding me back but I feel the zeal rising within me again. The fire is there that causes me to never give up. The word is truly alive and does bring back the energy that is needed to continue on. Thank you once again and may God continue to bless you and yours.

Response from Jula Garrett : Dear Apostle Colette,

You really do inspire me to continue on and not give up although the road ahead seems very steep and rocky at times. Your words and thoughts made me not only laugh because I could see myself in the things that you have done but they let me know that I am not so different after all. There are others like me and we are all in this together. I am choosing to stay the course and believe that my steps are ordered by the Lord and in due season I will reap...as long as I don't faint along the journey. I shall overcome! Thank you for your obedience and your dedication to help others rise up and become all that the Lord has called them to be. With Love, Julia Garrett

Response from Joda Hudson : APOSTLE YOU ARE A PROPHETIC ENCOURAGER TO THE CHRISTIANS LIFE BLESSINGS TO YOU.JODA

Response from Rev. Ivan Ramos : AMEN,AMEN,AMEN......AND AAAMMMEEENNN!!!! YOU GUYS ARE SO AWESOME!!!! TEARS ARE JUST PART OF THE CALLING! BOY DO I KNOW. BUT ,THE WORD CLEARLY SAYS..."WE CAN DO ALL THINGS THRU HIM THAT CALLED US.
iT ALSO SAYS ..."HE SHALL SUPPLY ALL OUR NEEDS....AND THATS WERE YOU COME IN, SUPPLYING THE NEEDS OF MANY CALLED MEN AND WOMAN OF GOD TO LEARN AND KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO AND WHEN TO DO IT. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR OBEDIENCE AND DEDICATION TO WHAT THE LORD HAS CALLED YOU TO DO. LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Response from Ms. Rhonda : I AM full of zeal and burning with the Spirit in serving the LORD! Yes, I too run faster than my angels can fly. LOL I can sooooooo relate to this blog. I am very much a "doer" and sometimes I act quicker, with a general idea of what needs to be done, rather than wait for the Lord's completed instruction. Needless to say,I fall short, only to have to go back again and get full instruction and timing guide lines. I'm getting better at listening. All glory to GOD! He is merciful and for that I am THANKFUL. Thank you Apostle Colette for sharing your encouraging experience.

Response from Ayanna : I love this post! You have such a unique way of explaining things and it is funny because most of what you share I can relate... I too will run full speed ahead if I have even the slightest inkling that it may be God speaking to me. I make people laugh when I tell them I am like Peter on the boat and I will jump out of the boat to get to Jesus before He even bids me to come. Apostle Colette keep doing what you do and keep yielding to the Holy Spirit. You are awesome!

Response from Lin : Thanks for being able to share. So many of us who are called to the prophetic need to be able to share and seek answers on dealing with the rejection and even jealousy from leaders. You are a blessing to me, because I too was about to give up, because of sin in the church and not being able to use what God has given me to do. Questions I had before God, I found the answer in reading this, about Keep Your Zeal. God bless you to continue to share with the Body of Christ.

Response from Dianna : I am currently in one of those trials when you wonder "now, why is it that I put myself through all this." Then suddenly you hear that still small voice say "because you love me." What is evident to me is that we can look at all hardship as an opportunity to grow and exceed any expectation we could ever have. If only we turn to the Lord and learn to lean not on our understanding but acknowledge Him. Just as we thought we must have missed God when we were released by our pastor, we soon realized that we were right where God wanted us...totally looking to Him and positioned for the next step in our ministry walk. It wasn't a demotion, nor rejection, but a wonderful opportunity to do what it was that we were called to do. We have moved into the next phase of the ministry we were created for. Doors are openning that hadn't even been a thought before. Others have closed that we thought were heading the direction we were to go. But, the Holy Spirit is guiding and directing. I share all this because reading your blog helps me see that all of us go through these trying times as it is just preparation for the next phase.
God Bless you and this ministry for the encouragment you bring day by day.


Response from Donna : Thank you for your honesty. It takes a real person to be transparent with the Body of Christ but it is exactly what we all need. God bless you as you continue in your walk.

Response from Clifford : Apostle Collette!This is awesome, i have indeed learnt a lot.It is never easy to get such a personal experiences shared in 'christiandom' but once more thank you so much.

Response from Lesley : Praise the Lord, I thank God for this encouragement. This is a confirmation of the word of God. I was riding in the car yesterday, and the Holy Ghost spoke to me and said "Fresh Fire." He told me that this part of the ministry is 100% God. I have to totally trust him and acknowledge him in all of my ways. Be encouraged my brothers and sisters because it is in these times that the Lord speaks to us the most.

Response from Vivian : Thanks for the opportunity to hear and see what is happening in the Body of Christ.

Response from Mark Ruhl : Fallen again, i cannot hide, the weakness that lives in my soul. Truth be revealed I can't deny that I am no more than a fool. This is my boast, I am not strong, this is the gift that I gift, I've built you an altar out of the riuns of this broken life that I live.
Have you not called the disqualified, the poor and the prodical sons, the scum of the earth, the bankrupt and blind, the lost and unfortunate ones? You know me well, I'm all of these things, and still you have called me your own. You washed me in blood under the cross so I boldly come to your throne.
You have made me to be a vessel. You have made me to fill me up. i have brought nothing to the table, just a desire to know you more.
And I praise you God, not in my strenght but my weakness.
From the Gift CD by kevin Prosch

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